Thursday, March 14, 2013

one month.

Alta turned a month old on Monday.

I really can't believe that.
Didn't I just give birth to her a few days ago?

For me, so far, giving birth to my babies always feels like just a few days ago. Even still with Ember, I struggle with the fact that it's almost been two whole years. I see her, so big and so NOT a baby. It's so strange. Didn't I just have her? Aren't we still celebrating her birth?

I celebrate it, every day. These girls are so alive.

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Ember, as you can see above, has really taken a liking to her sister. I say this constantly, but every day gets better with her. She's settling into our new groove, and she's quite fond of "baby sister". She loves to kiss her, tickle her feet and get way too close for Alti's comfort. I love the frown Ember gets when Alti fusses about it and then, she'll put her face right next to Alti's ear and go "shhhhhhhh", just like she's seen us to do.  This same afternoon, I was lifting Alti up to Ember's cheek and telling her that Alti was giving her kisses. Ember was elated of course, but the sweetest part was how much Alti enjoyed the interaction.

Alta has started to coo here and there, as well as smile back at us when we talk and engage her. Those smiles are like a drug, I try to count them and keep them and remember them. I just want to remember it all. Why can't I somehow just keep it all? She seems to be moving through new things so quickly. Both these girls do. I look at Alta, every day interacting a little more, opening up to her world a little more, settling in with us a little more, protesting our crazy life a little less. And I can hear and see Ember, every day it's a new word, a whole sentence, using the potty, telling me stories. It's speeding up and through.

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How is my heart supposed to take it when I call her "baby" and she says, "no momma. big girl."

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Speaking of big girls...
She weighed 9lbs 3oz when she was born. She dropped to 9lb 1oz by day two. At her two week check up, she was up to 10lbs 7oz. I'm dying to know what she's weighing by her six week check up. It's not that she's the chubbiest baby in the world or anything. It's just that she's MY chubby baby. I love every delicious little fat roll on her.

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I'll be honest and admit that right now is a selfishly delightful time. I often hear a lot from people who see her photos on facebook that Alta looks "so serious". And I want to laugh because that is just such a small piece. And right now, Neil and I get to be privy to all these huge moments with her, all these secret smiles and coos and quiet times and her reactions to every new experience. Because she's still so new (and usually napping when we're with anyone else) we're the only ones in the whole world right now who get to witness it all. It's so fantastic feeling, to have this private party right now, so special and sacred.

Just like with Ember, soon the whole world will know sweet Alta's personality too and delight in her. I'm happy to have her all to myself for now.

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