Friday, June 1, 2012

my pregnancy with ember: the nausea

Let it be known right now that I hate being sick to my stomach more than any other ailment. I always have. I used to actually go ahead and make myself throw up just to get the feeling over with and move on. I hate it that much. Headaches are right behind that, but nausea is definitely top of this list.

So, in the middle of September, I was trying out something new on my blog.
I love to cook, and I was thinking about making it a weekly thing, trying out a new recipe and sharing the results on my blog.
Fun fun.

Except I made chicken salad.
(Just typing out "chicken salad" to this day makes my stomach flip.)

You see, the day I made chicken salad, I made a whole freaking bunch of chicken salad. Homemade all the way too. I even roasted a whole chicken.
Serious stuff.
I made gluten free rosemary crackers to eat with it.
(Just the slightest hint of rosemary still can make me a tad queasy.)

I packed it all up in the fridge, very excited about our lunch for the week. Very excited to have made such a meal. I was a cooking rock star.

I blogged about it and went to bed.

The very next day. Literally, the. very. next. day. the slightest thought of that chicken salad made me want to throw up everything I had eaten for the past week.
I did not want to see it.
I did not want to smell it.
And I sure as heck did not want to consume it.

I told Neil to discreetly take it to work each day and not speak of it. I actually asked him to hide it in the fridge so I would not know it was there.

I deleted the blog post. Seeing the photo of the offensive chicken salad was all it took to get sick to my stomach.
Actually, I stopped blogging at this point, though the two things are unrelated. Chicken salad didn't stop me from blogging, I promise. I'll talk about that next post.

This is the power of morning sickness people.
It snowballed from there. Luckily in a few days there were no more traces of chicken salad and so that was no longer a threat. But a continuous, never ending wave of nausea settled in and didn't go away until I was 13 weeks along. Completely gone by 14/15. Sometimes it was just dull, still there, but easy to deal with. Sometimes I just laid in bed and did not move. I liked to try finding patterns in the popcorn on the ceiling.
I spent a lot of time finding new tricks to keep it at bay. What was funny was what would work one day, usually would not work another day. I did figure out very quickly that not eating would make it worse. Protein was awesome. Sauerkraut juice is amazingly soothing. But it was pretty much something I just had to deal with until it was over. A good attitude was key. The days where I was grumpy about it were the worst.

I never ever once did actually throw up. Some days I wanted to so badly though. I'm not sure if it would have helped or not.

There was even one morning, when I took Neil to work and as per my Wednesday routine, drove straight to the farmer's market. I noticed it was still pretty early, everyone was still setting up. I felt so nauseous and so tired, that I kicked my seat back and  took about an hour nap. In the parking lot. Seriously.

It just so happened the first week I felt absolutely no nausea (thank freaking goodness) included Thanksgiving Day. A day FULL OF YUMMY FOOD. All my sick days were completely rewarded. It was one of the best days of my life. I was cooking and I was eating.

Unfortunately my stomach was about the size of baby's fist. So I got full really fast.
But that's ok, because there were plenty of leftovers.

15 Weeks (2)
(A not so good shot of me on Thanksgiving weekend. Pooching out and nausea free!)

Nausea was not something I was prepared for in the least. I didn't have it like that with my first pregnancy. In fact, maybe a handful of times for an hour or two I was queasy, but other than that, I really didn't have the whole morning sickness thing. When the nausea first crept in, I was actually excited, because it truly is a healthy sign. But as the days went on, I was longing for the first trimester to get over with. I was luckier than some since it did go away fairly soon once my second trimester started. I know lots of momma's though, who still had it past then, to varying degrees, even all the way up to birth. Yikes.

The good thing about the nausea was it did give me a distraction from worrying about whether the pregnancy would "stick" or not. I wasn't able to spend so much time fretting because I just felt so icky and was more focused on that. And by the time I was well out of my first trimester, the nausea was gone, I was visibly pregnant and I was really able to enjoy being pregnant! There was never ever a point in my pregnancy, even during this time, where I was just "done" being pregnant. I pretty much always loved it. And if I could have just left any worries I had at the door, it would have been even better.

But geeze louise. Morning sickness ain't no joke.

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