Thursday, November 17, 2011

she is six months old today.

As of almost two hours ago.

six months old.
I snapped these this morning. I love those sleepy eyes so much. She wakes right up every morning, her eyes just snap right open and she's ready for the world. But for just a few minutes, those eyes stay so preciously sleepy.

Where did the time go?
Everyone says that right?
But I'm serious!
Where did it go?

six months old.

six months old.

I'll be honest, I'm struggling with it.
This beautiful little creature. She answered my invitation to join us here. Every day she answers.
Being her momma is the most honest thing I've ever done. It's the most healing thing I've ever done. I've said this a lot when I talk about her birth and her life and all of it. It's done more for me than two and a half years of therapy ever did.

I suddenly can make sense of so much that I never could before.
And I suddenly feel even more resolute in never repeating all those things that I still just don't understand.

And all the sudden, this past week or so, all these things have just started clicking for her. Stuff she's been working on for weeks, just in the matter of a few days have come together for her. Her grasping is solid, she can connect toy to mouth like it's nothing (that had really been frustrating her just a couple weeks ago!). She rolls and plays and wiggles and it's all fluid, without thought or care. Some days I can literally see things click in her mind and off she goes.

Every time I put her down on her blanket to play today, she put herself up on her hands and knees. Sometimes she would rock a little bit. She moves around every which way but crawling. It's only a matter of time.

Slow down baby. Slow down.
You don't have to stay so little forever, but can I catch my breath? Can I just really feel like I've properly soaked you all up before you've changed yet again?

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