Monday, October 10, 2011

the weight of her.

There is nothing quite like the weight of your child on your chest. Nothing compares to that sweet little body, nestled into yours.

Everybody told me it goes by fast.
But I really didn't realize just how fast.

When Ember was born, especially during that "fourth trimester", we kept her very close. We practiced kangaroo type care for her, just because after all sorts of reading, in our hearts we felt that was best. She was pretty much always on one of us. She was barely ever set in a container, and only slept in the bed at night, right next to me.
She was so new, and wrinkled and sleepy....
And somehow, day after day, her little self just started to grow.

When someone else is holding her, I can really see how much she has changed. I sort of have to take a second and think... "that's my baby?"

She no longer wants to be rocked, or cradled, or even cuddled too much, very rarely to sleep. The whole world is begging for her to check it out, she has to see! She wants to splash in the tub, and sit in my lap facing out, and be carried  around to explore. She wants to nap in the bed with a blankie. She wants to roll and kick and grab toys with her hands. Everything must be chewed on.

oh really?

And I really just didn't know, how quickly she would stop being a "newborn". It's not that she doesn't need me, she completely does. I still keep her close, but it's all in a different way now. How did it pass so quickly? The past few days, I keep looking back almost five months, amazed by the speed of it.

I love the moments... when she's a total momma's girl. And I'm the only one who can put her to bed. When she gets overwhelmed and needs to bury her head into my shoulder. When there are just too many faces and too much interaction, and only one person she wants to see. When she's woken up from a long nap and wants to nuzzle and nurse, without needing to looking around every two minutes and make sure the world is still there!

I love that there are still times I can wrap her up against me, and she'll fall asleep on my chest. Just the weight of my baby, pressed into me. That is one of the happiest places I've ever found myself.


  1. OMG and it doesnt slow down! It only goes faster. You will blink and she will be a year old! Its nuts. My youngest is 7 and its hard to remember him as my sweet little newborn. Where did the time go!! She is soo pretty. I wish I could give her hugs and hold her. I love babies. Document her days my dear because those will be all you have once she is up and grown! :)

  2. LOVE this. I'm so tickled that you're documenting these moments for her... :)