Wednesday, August 17, 2011

making time.

Ember is three beautiful months old today.
(I'll share a photo tomorrow.. I'm too sleepy to go download my camera.)

And, I've snuggled her down into bed, rubbed our noses together, squished her cheeks, and played the kissy face game that she loves. She's softly breathing next to me as I type this.

It's been on my mind for a few days now, but I'm thinking about starting to make time for creative activities again.

thank you - For Shaina
(A page I made for Shaina, in 2010)

Neil and I talked about it a little bit tonight.
I recently let go of an old dream. Something that I kept pushing to be the right fit for me, but just wasn't. Just because you love doing something, doesn't always mean it will make a good career.
I'm also facing and realizing exactly how I want to parent my daughter and my future children. And where I want to be, which is mostly home while they are little (as long as I have that option, it's my first choice).


Let Go

(Made in the fall of 2010, after the miscarriage.)

So for a start, I just want to start making things again.
I really am feeling a huge push to create.
It feels a bit impossible still right now. How do I fit it back into my life? How to make time for it?
I told Neil, maybe I shouldn't even try, but he said, even just a little bit here and there would feel good to me. He's right. He usually is.

I've got a few ideas:

- Have a designated space.
I always work better with a space ready to go. Setting up and then taking back down just turns me off creating completely. This isn't possible to set up right this minute, because Neil and I have slowly but surely been repainting and fixing up each room in the house, so everything is a bit scattered. Our bedroom and the main bathroom are (mostly) finished. Ember's room (though, until she's old enough to sleep in her own bed, it's really just a guest room/space for Ember's things) is ready to paint now, we're just waiting for funds to buy paint. But as soon as it's done, my supplies will be stored in there. Hopefully with easy access until they need babyproofing.
I also plan on keeping a card table up in the corner of the living room as well, with my everyday tools and current projects. I like creating where everyone else is, I hate feeling away from everything. (In a few more years I will probably prefer some private time, ha!)
Also, this way I can easily sit down for a few minutes, work a little bit, and if I need to stop, it's not a big deal just to come back to it later. A little bit at a time is better than no time.

- Baby carriers are awesome.
Thank goodness for the moby. Ember naps amazingly in our moby wrap. She takes her longest naps in it, and honestly, somedays she's so into moving and grooving that it's the best way to get some cuddles from her. I have a feeling I'm always going to be told that I could "put the baby down" but you raise your babies your way, and I'll raise mine my way. So during her more solid naps, I'm planning on just wearing Emme and doing some light creative work. Spray inks, smelly adhesives, etc. won't be an option, but I can work them in later.

- Take advantage of daddy time.
Neil's suggestion. And he's right. While he's spending time with Ember, I can sit down and work on something. I instead, usually feel obligated to do household chores, which leads me to my next idea...

- Balance out creative time with chore time.
I have a tendency to put creating behind getting the house clean. I convince myself that I really should get this or that done instead, and don't ever get to sit down and make anything. But, the reality is, this or that is always going to need to be done. As soon as I clean it up, it's just going to get messy again. I know that with the house feeling so chaotic and unorganized that makes it all seem worse, but as we finish each room I think I'll feel better about it. There are some things I will try to get accomplished each day, a little bit of tidying up, washing up the daily dishes, but otherwise, I'm going to try to let it go once in awhile in the pursuit of creativity.
Ember probably won't remember whether or not our bed was made, but more than likely she'll really love thumbing through a journal all about her life. Well, I hope so anyways!

how very far we've come
(from January, 2010.)

I would love some more ideas as well. Right now I'm navigating this with a three month old. I'm sure I'll have to reevaluate it all in just a few more months, and so on.
I'm getting that twitch, that urge again. And I think it's long overdue.

2 comments:

  1. Do you need stuffs to be creative with? Cause I can donate if you do. Let me know and I'll send with Ian next month.

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  2. seeing that page you made for me up on your new blog made my day. it is one of my favorite gifts I've ever received and it makes my heart glad to know that you're tapping into that side of you once again. you inspire me!

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